Moorefield, West Virginia

Whether or not I could live in a place depends on how comfortable I feel walking into the local barber shop.

1. There has to be a barber pole out front. A functional one that twirls.
2. No more than four chairs. Actually 4 chairs would be pushing it.
   
3. No appointments accepted. I am wary of men who have to schedule haircuts. More wary of barber shops that tolerate them.
4. Under $20. Way under.
   
5. Average time per haircut: 10 minutes or less.
6. No styling. I don't want to wait 45 minutes behind some metro-sexual who wants to look like something out of GQ. No shampoos, either.
7. Barbers and waiting customers engage in a lively and pointless banter, usually at the expense of an elected official.

All things considered, I could live in Moorefield.